Becoming More Present – And Why You Don’t
After trauma you put in place coping mechanisms geared toward making you feel safe. But do those mechanisms always have the benefits for which they are intended? Not always!
Earlier this week I wrote about how tough it was for me to be present. Yesterday on YOUR LIFE AFTER TRAUMA we dedicated what was supposed to be an entire show to learning to be present. However, my guest, Dr. Cheryl Arutt, was so knowledgeable about why you’re not present, and so full of information about how a habit of dissociation gets put in place, plus its usefulness (yes, you read that right: usefulness), that by the end of the show we only had a few minutes to actually talk about how to be present. Which is why Dr. Arutt is coming back!
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In the meantime, in this one-hour broadcast you will learn:
- what dissociation is and why you do it
- what happens when your fight/flight system gets activated
- what your ‘response flexibility’ is, and why it’s important in recovery
- 5 simple things you can begin doing today to start developing a habit of being present
- hear Dr. Arutt answer a caller wanting to know where to begin in trauma recovery
Whew, we packed a lot into our interview! And then Dr. Marcia Nickow answered the question, “What is intergenerationl trauma?” in our Professional Perspective interview to close the show.
MEET MY GUEST:
Dr. Cheryl Arutt graduated summa cum laude from the University of California, Los Angeles, where she received UCLA’s College of Letters and Sciences College Honors, Women’s Studies Departmental Honors, and was elected to Phi Beta Kappa. In college, she became a certified Rape and Domestic Violence counselor, and later, a trainer for Peace Over Violence, L.A.’s longest-standing Rape & Battering Hotline.
Mentored by Barbara Cort Counter, Ph.D. in psychoanalytically-informed psychotherapy and forensic evaluation, Dr. Arutt was able to develop advanced psychotherapy and diagnostic skills for both private therapy and for the legal system. Dr. Arutt has continued to enrich her knowledge by participating in professional study groups, including those led by renowned interpersonal neuropsychiatrist and author Dan Siegel, MD, and Psychoanalytic Center of California training and supervising analyst James Gooch, MD.She earned a Doctor of Psychology degree from California School of Professional Psychology-Los Angeles, where she received the Outstanding Doctoral Project award for her clinical dissertation. Postgraduate training at the prestigious Wright Institute Los Angeles culminated in a Certificate of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy. She has worked at Verdugo Mental Health Center, Catholic Charities Psychological Services and the LAGLC, where she and a colleague wrote and adapted what became the nation’s first Court-approved program for same-sex batterers; STOP Domestic Violence is currently the largest, most comprehensive program of its kind in the world.
In addition to her private practice, Dr. Arutt has been an Adjunct Professor at California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University, teaching Clinical Interviewing, Ethics and Professional Development, Sex Roles and Gender, and Intercultural Processes and Human Diversity to Ph.D and Psy.D. students. She provides clinical consultation and supervision, and enjoys giving talks about psychotherapy, gender, trauma recovery, infertility and other psychological issues at California Graduate Institute, UCLA, Los Angeles City College, and other educational, corporate and community settings, as well as appearing as a frequent guest commentator on television networks such as CNN, HLN and Fox News.
Dr. Arutt is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, the American Psychological Association, APA Division 39: Psychoanalysis, Los Angeles County Psychological Association, and RESOLVE.

Michele struggled with undiagnosed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) for 24 years. Then she was diagnosed and went on a healing rampage! Today she inspires others to reclaim their lives by making change they choose.





One of the most clear and concise discussions I’ve heard on dissociation, particularly its role in trauma both as an adaptive survival strategy and as a lingering effect that limits our sense of aliveness and our ability to make healthy choices in life.
@Larry — Thanks for that review! I thought Dr. Arutt did a fantastic job of outlining what happens, exactly, so that anyone can understand what’s going on and begin to gather ideas for how to move forward. Glad to see you here.
[...] Hear Michele Rosenthal’s interview with Dr. Cheryl Arutt on trauma and recovery in the post Becoming More Present – And Why You Don’t. [...]
Dear Michele,
I think what you are doing is awesome and I especially enjoyed your broadcast on “Becoming More Present” and your guest Dr. Cheryl Arutt. However, I do have to ask in your opinion on children who are raised in hostile divorced homes and the divisiveness which occurs there in, could this also be categorized as a form of trauma? In your opinion is it especially traumatic to children to be forced to choose which parent to honor, which parent to obey, which parent to love and respect? If it is a form of trauma then what does the alienated parent do to help their children over come it when there is no contact because of the other parent who does have contact and control? I ask partly for myself and my daughter whom I have not seen for about a year, and for thousands of other parents and their children who I am in contact with who find themselves in this power struggle the courts don’t seem to understand nor care about helping.
God Bless,
Brian
P.S. I almost forgot: I also agree with you and your guests who have stated; “knowledge is power”. As an educator of children I can only add that their is no stupid question, because we learn form our questions as much as we learn from our mistakes.
@Brian — Thanks for your kind words and my enormous apologies for the delay in my response. My grandmother died the week you left this comment and my focus was with my family for a great deal of time. To answer your question, Yes, that can be enormously traumatic for children who see their safety provided by the care of their parents. I’m not an child psychology expert but as someone who has studied trauma a great deal but when a child feels his/her safety to be compromised that is a definite form of stress and often a perceived threat to well-being. Without contact with the child, I’m sorry to say, I believe it would be difficult for you to be helpful unless you could send someone in your place to make sure the child is receiving the proper emotional support.
[...] about dissociation, why you’re not present and how to develop a being present attitude listen to Dr. Cheryl Arutt explain the process of the brain during and after trauma, and offer tips for how you can begin to shift the balance of old habits versus new. Tweet [...]